Attending a public American school was very frightening for me, more than others. I’m entering a place I have no experience in with people I barely know for 8 hours a day. Above all that I’m not able to fully speak their language, so just like any whiney kid I exclaim to my grandma: “I want to go home”. She tells me that I should try and school shouldn’t be as bad a I make it out for me, and I in turn trust her judgement and enter the building. Walking into class I’m greeted by my first grade teacher, who as like any other teacher, says “hello” to me. I respond to her with silence, not out of rudeness, but confusion. I didn’t understand her and I just shake my head to move on with my day. I always felt weird with these interaction but at the time I didn’t understand why. I realize know what the reason was.

            I wasn’t rude or unfriendly towards people, I just didn’t understand their language fully. In class I was able to get good grades and succeed well, I just never really talked with anyone since I could never communicate with them. I always felt like I was weird but I never knew why. Most classmates never wanted to talk or be friends with me because I was so silent, to be honest most times would be the opposite. Most kids would pick on me and take advantage of me due to the fact that I could talk back. Even though I couldn’t understand what was said by them entirely, I know it wasn’t nice and endearing. People find it easy to insult and belittle people when they don’t understand what they’re saying. Most teachers didn’t bother with me either since when they saw I had good grades, they didn’t bat an eye to see if I was struggling or needed help and I was fine on my own. In my case, teachers helped those who needed academic help, not social help. Nobody notice when I wouldn’t talk to anyone or if I was extremely quiet, they all just assumed I was shy and introverted. Although I do believe I am somewhat introverted, that didn’t fully apply here since I wasn’t able to communicate in the first place. Truth be told I did well since math and science didn’t required to recite English, it all required universal numbers learned by most schools. I spent my first years of elementary trying to fit in to a society that never really felt like I belonged to, and that trend continued until one year…

            During 1^st grade I was introduced to a women that would guide me along the path that helped me feel like a belonged more, Mrs. Herman. She was a speech pathologist that helped me communicate more and understand English better. She tried many strategies to find out what was more comfortable for me to talk. She presented cards to me that resembled shapes, animals, and food that were common in schools and asked me to recite them after her. This proved to be really helpful when I came to the classroom where I actually responded to a teacher’s greeting. During the end of the week, I would be required to write how I felt or what happened to me during the week in a notebook. This helped me learn other forms of communication while also giving me a foundation in writing skills. During this time, Mrs. Herman was my favorite person since it felt like she was like a mentor or a shining light in the darkness. She helped me improve my English and communication skills and although it didn’t fully help me fit in, it was a good start, a start I needed.

            I was shaped and molded by the sessions and the strategies she used since it felt like it helped me personally rather it being a general strategy like how public school use to teach in different subjects. This feels like a mentor or mother to me that helped me knowing what I struggled with. Using objects that should appear in classrooms or homes is very helpful for me since I was repeatedly exposed to it and it would help me learn more consistently and quicker. I also found out my preferred learning style and that would be helpful for me in my high school years for me to do better in classes. Exposure to help and guidance outside of classroom environments help me feel more normal and not alienated and distanced personally. Even though I would still do poor in English and History subjects, I felt like I understood what was being asked and required rather than going in blind. Mrs. Herman helped me learn when I struggled due to communication and language barriers and when I struggled due to the subject not being my strong suit. That distinction would be beneficial for me choosing what I wanted to major and what I wanted to improve on in the classroom and social environment, which is important to be successful in the real world.

            My experiences can be shared with others which I don’t what happening since it can poison the minds of young children. Growing up I was treated like an outcast by other children, so I never made any friends, and often hung around teachers or Mrs. Herman. the language barrier caused me to isolate myself from people my age since most of them knew English and was able to talk with each other. Although Mrs. Herman helped me communicate, she couldn’t help my already established relationships with my classmates. Whenever everyone else had recess or free time, I spent my time with her, and it made me worse in making friends since I was around them less. All of this combined with my introverted personality led to my low self-esteem and other mental health issues I continue to experience to this day. I realized that people shouldn’t be treated differently just because they speak another language. Just because English isn’t their first language, doesn’t make them any less American or “normal” than anyone else. Being bullied and disrespected because of that disadvantage isn’t okay and should be normalized in schools and society.